Former Alaska Governor and 2008 Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is America’s next Secretary of the Interior. This potentially controversial pick comes amidst a wave of cabinet appointments that many Americans, including members of Mr. Trump’s own team, have found questionable if not entirely poor.
According to Mr. Trump, Palin was not chosen for her experience or her knowledge of wildlife or culture, which many would argue she knows very little about. In fact, Palin was seemingly chosen more for her knowledge indoors than outdoors.
“Sarah Palin is a smart lady. Very smart. Very sexy and very smart,” Trump explained to a gaggle of reporters who assembled in the lobby of his lawyer’s office. “I’ve been to her house many times. Many times. It’s a really nice house. I went in there and said ‘hey, you know what? You could be an interior decorator, decorating your interior like an interior decorator decorates interiors,’ And she laughed and said she didn’t know what that means. That’s how you know, you know? It’s a natural talent. I have many natural talents. I’m a very gifted man. Very smart. I know talent when I see it, because I have a lot of talent. So much talent. Ask anybody, they’ll tell you.”
A reporter asked President-Elect Trump what interior decorating had to do with the Department of the Interior. “Hey, look, that’s why you’re in the fake news. Do I need to spell it out for you? Interior Department? Interior decorator? You need a bigger brain I think.”
Sarah Palin excited for new role
Sarah Palin met with President-Elect Trump’s soon-to-be-renamed transition team this morning, meeting briefly with reporters after to issue the following statement:
I’m really excited to, you know, and to be the Secretary of the Interior, that’s, gosh, what an honor, you know? If you came up to me a few years ago and asked me to be Donald Trump’s Secretary I’d have said ‘no way Jose’ and ‘let’s see that green card mister!’ I meant Jose, not, you know, President Trump, because he’s a great man, and we need great men to be great in America because America, and like, you know how when a turkey is cooking because it’s Thanksgiving, well I’m giving my thanks to Donald Trump because, like, the interior of something isn’t the same as the exterior of something, and a wise man thought of that, like Donald Trump, talk about a witch hunt am I right? He’s been treated so unfairly, and I, well, I like, you know, America is a beautiful place and we have the bestest interiors in the world and I’m going to answer phone calls for those interiors, it’s a calling because people are calling and that’s what a secretary. Let me answer the phone for you America. Dial your extension and the number is freedom. Ask for a human representative because that’s me. I’m a human and I’m a representative now, you betcha!
